It’s time we all took the word ‘average’ back. I’ve been thinking about this (and actually mouthing off about it as well to anyone dumb enough that will listen to me) but basically one of the things that I have found lacking in the use of the English language is the proper use of words to describe things. When you ask someone about how they felt a movie or an event was, unless it was terrible the general response you’ll probably get is ‘Yeah it was pretty good.’ Or ‘Yeah it was good’. Don’t lie to me dammit. It wasn’t good because if it was you’d be talking about it with a little bit more conviction, a little bit more enthusiasm. Good implies that it had merit to speak of. Clearly you have none to express. No dear sir (or madam), what in actual fact you’re trying to say is that it is merely average. Average is a good word to use when it fits the bill. When something doesn’t shine but moves forward in an adequate fashion it can only considered average.

So for example ‘Cars’ can only be considered as an average movie when you put it in direct comparison to John Lasseter’s previous outings. It had good moments in it for sure, but as a movie it cannot be considered anything but ‘average’ in comparison. Of course there’s the issue of being kind to people. As another example, most definitely do not say: ‘Thanks Grandma, that dinner was most definitely average.’

So like Randall in Clerks II, I’m taking back the word average. I strongly urge you to do the same. Hell you know you want to.