That’s how I feel right now. Honestly I don’t expect to make much sense, but I’ll probably read these thoughts a few years from now and either smile or look at myself in a whole new light. I suppose I’m going to actually start using my thoughts section as a pathway to everything I want to say and feel. Sometime it’ll be boring other times it’ll bring me closer to finding a way in my life.

Currently I’m in a low phase of my life. I was over the moon 2 weeks ago, everything was going my way, but I’m not in the correct frame of mind these two past weeks. I guess changing groups has had a serious impact on me. I’ve met some nice people but it’s going to be a long a hard struggle to get to the way I was in the old group. I know this, it’s part of life, but it’s demoralising in any case. I understand the neccesity for it, but I can’t justify it to myself right now.

Even though my piece is in the hype gallery I’ve had no e-mails regarding he piece. In hindsight maybe I should have worked on something truely dynamic and then put it up. I guess I was blinded by emotions and when trying to be a professional you’ve really got to set your emotions to one side and tackle the situation at hand. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say. I guess you live and learn in life. Sometime things go correctly and sometimes they really don’t.

How’s the story coming along you ask? Don’t; because it’s not. I’m in a glut right now and I know I’m just feeling a slight sting, but it’s one of those things that takes time. I’ve got the ideas in my head but I can’t seem to sit myself down and just get on with it. I guess that is the problem 90% of the time with writing a story, your motivation and raison d’etre is no longer as viable and vibrant in your mind, and so you loose the steam with which you came into it, in the very begining.

While January was a creative high, and 2004 looked more bright than ever, Febrary has started of to an abismal start. Hell I can’t even be bothered to read comics right now. I can’t be bothered to finish off the third hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy, I can’t be bothered to buy any music and I can’t be bothered to draw anything worth while.

I wish I could go to sleep for a few months, and wake up one day and have the book written and drawn, the website as funky as I’d like it to be, and my dreams to have been touched by reality.

I’m getting the feeling I dream a lot and talk a lot and for some reason I just don’t act on what I say, and I end up disappointing myself.

Ever had one of those days, one of those weeks, one of those months?

This is one of them for me.