Today the 23rd of August I will have made a stay of 25 years on this planet. Usually, since I finished University some 3 years ago now I get depressed, BIG TIME. I’ve analysed the situation and come to the reasoning behind it. The reason can be attributed to one thing. It’s not because of fear of growing older, because that’s the way of life, and I accept a lot of things that are the ways of life, very easily, and without any trepidation.

Somethings I have no control over.

Other things however I do. It is these things that I have control over that cause this depression. I’ve never made it a secret that my dream job isn’t what I currently do. I’m an engineer by profession, and my job is designing the electrical systems of buildings. However although I have begun to enjoy my job emmensely, which to be c0mpletely honest can only be attributed to the company I work for ( www.arup.com), there is something still missing.

My dream job is to be a graphic novelist. It’s something that shouldn’t be hard to do. Telling visual stories is something I’ve been wanting to do since I was 14 years old. 11 years have passed, and I can’t say I’m any closer to that goal. I’ve put myself on a tangent, and in the process deviated from the original target.

Don’t get me wrong I’ve enjoyed all the various projects I’ve undertaken in the past 2 years that have in a way kept me away from the main goal, from the programming, to the digital illustration, to the graphic designing, to the web design/architecture. All important aspects to me that I’m very proud of, but they’re not the one true original goal. When I look at the shelf infront of me and see one spine with my name on it, that will be a time where I can die happy. Happy in the knowledge that I was able to achieve that one dream that has been with me and refuses to go away all these years.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is, 25 years, the road is clear in front of me, I have no obligations, but the end is all too far away, and I fear that I won’t have the book finished for next year either, since writing it has been the hardest thing in the world due to the subject matter. The ironic thing is that I choose this story in lieu of all the other ones (because I have many many ideas for stories) because I thought this one would require the least amount of research, and it’d be a much easier story to fall into, ha, such a moron.

The book has got 23 fully written and described pages, complete with dialogue etc. That’s the equivalent of 1 issue. I’m hopping to make the equivalent of a 12 issue mini-series all slotted into one book. In the region of 160 pages. This is the situation I have in front of me on my 25th Birthday.

I guess it’s better than nothing really. At least I’ve finally got a draft I’m happy with the start of (this is version 6 by the way, I began writing this story properly on the 1st of January). Close to 9 months and all I’ve got to show from that part of my life is 23 pages.